The Race For President

As the limo pulls away, you get into your green Buick Skylark and follow it close behind. When you see a hill up the road, you get in the lane next to the limo, and give it the slightest nudge. The limo veers off the road into a patch of grass, and after it rumbles up the hill, it eventually comes to a stop. The driver angrily gets out of the limo and starts cursing at you. You explain to him that you saw someone messing with the brakes, and this was the only way you could do something to prevent a catastrophe. After the driver examines the brakes, to check and see if you were telling the truth, he shakes your hand and apologizes profusely. When Bob Dole is told what happened, he calls you a `hero', and an `exemplary American citizen.' When the story hits the news, everybody starts treating you like a god. President Clinton even invites you to the White House to give you some medal of bravery. You are invited all across the country to give motivational speeches about courage and determination.

With your new career as a motivational speaker, however, you have no time to run for president, and all you aunt's money is taken away from you and given to her favorite charity: The Association for Retired Bullpen Catchers. But you don't care that much because becoming president doesn't appeal to you anymore ever since you became a big celebrity. At least a big celebrity until your fifteen minutes of fame is up, and you're back trying to find a fast-food restaurant that will give you a job.

THE END